Inner Thoughts

Driving across this bridge. I can’t see the other side. If this bridge is how bridges are supposed to be, then there is an end on the other side, right? So I keep driving. And driving. And driving. Then I start to question myself. I’ve been driving for a long time when will I reach the other side? Well, I’ve come too far to turn back now. If I turn back, I will have waste so much time. I might as well keep on going as long as I have gas. So, I keep driving because now I’m curious. I want to know what’s on the other side. I HAVE to get there. I’m still on the bridge. My gas light comes on. Here’s my sign. I should turn back or maybe just a little longer. Breaking point. Decisions. What to do?
If I keep going, I may make it to the other side. If I turn around, I may not make it back to the point where I started. So, I keep going and I run out of gas. Damn. I was warned. Didn’t take heed. Not the best judgment call. Now I’m stuck. Take action or remain passive....
Take action or remain passive because I know we’ve been talking for so long and I feel like this road has to lead somewhere. Anywhere. Or think with my head and not my heart. I know how it was like BEFORE the journey started. I sure I can get back to that point and start anew because I’ve learned a powerful lesson. Signs are meant to tell you something. I just have to stop, look, and listen. Ignoring the signs are only detrimental to me. Not to mention the signs that aren't there can mean almost as much as the ones that are. So I have to pay better attention, but now that I've surpassed that point. The signs told me everything I needed to know. I just didn't listen. So what do I do? Make the decision for me or make the decision for you

One and two and breathe

Inhale. Exhale. Breathe. Well I would be able to if I could get some things off my chest. Some things that may not make any sense to you but they make a lot of sense to me. My issues will only be separated by a period. Signifying the end. So let’s put somethings to rest. Funeral service if you will.
You’ve been around for so long you have an advantage over everyone and I mean everyone Unfortunately I’m growing up before your eyes and you don’t even know it or maybe you do Maybe that’s why you have to throw a monkey wrench so I’ll stick around You think I will be here forever but newsflash I’ve BEEN here forever or close enough no long enough It’s time to move on Nothing has changed There is no progress You’re great Don’t get me wrong but I’m not the one you want So why pretend Now I need my brain to send a signal for my feet to move Next step. Period.
We weren’t meant to be together I was just another social experiment to you and I only chose you to try and change me Well not really me just change my type but it wasn’t for the better it was more like a lateral move that put me in no better position than I was before Maybe I’ve become so enthralled with what I think is my “type” that I can’t be attracted to anything else Or maybe I just wasn't attracted to you I'll take the latter Yes it’s probably my fault for wasting your time but please note the reason why me and you didn’t work wasn’t because we couldn’t but because shouldn’t It just wasn‘t meant to be but I hope you find what you‘re looking for. Period.
You and him overlapped but not in a sexual way in an emotional way I could talk to you I could relate to you You were what I was wanting him to be You were what I was attracted to You were the one I couldn’t let go Maybe you rejuvenate my youth I don’t know what it is but I’m trying very hard not to get sidetracked by the obvious I’m too old to be oblivious See I know I’m not the only one but I didn’t come into this situation expecting to be Just like you can’t ask the same thing of me We are both single and until that changes anything goes No rules No limitations but still a sense of respect We laugh We joke We have fun together So lets not make it more complicated than it has to be right now I don't want to waste the moment. Period.
No wait. Erase that. Comma because this isn’t the end or at least I don’t want it to be. I just want to take this brief moment to pause, reflect, and continue. One and two and breathe. Now I feel better

Click. Clack. Cuffed.

It’s mid October. Boredom is beginning to consume your mind. Football season isn’t giving you ALL the entertainment that you REALLY want and the upcoming basketball season won’t either. The weather’s changing. The temperature’s changing. The leaves are changing. Thus bringing about a new season. Cuffin’ Season. You know like click clack. Handcuffs? Yeah, that time of year. The time of year where persuasion and delusion is at an all time high. Where love and lust become more interchangeable than they already are. (Sad but you know it’s the truth). Where desperation sets in because it’s been over a month since your summer fling dipped and you have yet to be entertained… consistently. I mean some people are really good at this. They know what to say and how to say it. Not to mention how to DO it. Yeah I won’t be nasty today. Nonetheless, right now everyone wants that warm body to lay with at least a few days out the week if nothing else. Is this a bad case complacency? Yes. Is it a good idea? It depends. This isn’t meant to be serious AND long term. Now, if you let it, it can become long term. A bridge to nowhere with the expectation of something on the other side. Some people like it that way. If you do, then happy cuffin‘! Now if you don’t, please don’t be fooled. Cuffin’ season is just that… a season. Please don’t try to convince yourself that you are the exception and not the rule. I mean if everyone was the exception what would be the purpose of the rule? Let the situation prove otherwise. And if you want something long term, these cowboys and cowgirls aren’t for you… because this rodeo is only here temporarily.